Dad's Update XI - 11/15/09
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come to pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Cor 4:16-18)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
As the days have worn on since my last update, weariness, anguish, and anxiety have risen into our hearts and minds. We are all mourning a life of expectations lost. Bryce is mourning the loss of the beautiful body and motor skills that God crafted for him. Three months have passed since the accident; as the emergencies settle down to more understandable and predictable acute issues, and as rehabilitation picks up speed, the road becomes clearer, but looks harder. Like Frodo looking out over the swamp toward the mountains of Mordor in Lord of the Rings, fearing the long, seemingly impossible road ahead, we wonder how we are going to survive and accomplish the new life ahead. Frames of reference are changed forever. Paraplegic status, if he can get there, seems almost dreamy and heavenly given its much wider range of abilities and lower needs for custodial care. Our faith is also being challenged. We KNOW that there will be dark moments, but we keep reminding ourselves that He has a plan. We are trying to trust Him, when the pieces don’t seem to fit, and recognize that our prayers will be answered in His time and according to His will. We rest on the belief that all this suffering is preparing us to meet Him – that is where our HOPE comes from.
Bryce
Bryce has made steady improvement in recent weeks. While he is not out of the acute stage yet, with bouts of dizziness, blood pressure and temperature swings, bladder infections, and minor early stage pressure sores, his body is stabilizing and he is managing better. As predicted by his doctors, and after intense pains, his left arm is coming back slowly – too slowly for Bryce’s liking, but what an answer to prayer! He now has his left bicep working down to the elbow. This has picked his spirits up and allowed his old impatience and frustration to return (a good thing) so that he is attacking and accelerating his rehabilitation (more hours per day). Come on Bryce, you can do it! Fight buddy, fight!
He has also been inspired by various friends and family visiting, giving him needed time to talk and express himself. His cousin, Cara Hall, and Grandma Zaccara just visited in November, followed by various classmates from SIT World Learning in Geneva popping in a few times. Other Colorado College friends have sent some of their most precious things to comfort him. One lady friend created an amazing Tree of Life wall hanging that blew us all away; its intricacy and boldness, whether planned or not, reminds us of the cornerstone in Psalm 1 and the Gospels. Bryce’s friends have given him an incredible uplift in person and daily over Facebook. He pines to return to the U.S. to see more of them, but acknowledges that patience is necessary for the best plan of rehabilitation to play out. His roommate, Martin, also a former guitar player with solid command of the English language, has become a good buddy and several other caregivers also speak good English and have become valued partners.
Bryce has lost 40 pounds (down to 180), but still looks good. As therapy continues over time, he will put back more muscle. Jay Adams showed up the other day with some German beer and a McDonalds Big Mac, both of which were summarily dispatched with great alacrity and appreciation. When Skyping with Jennifer last week, Bryce suddenly wheeled up in the background in his new electric wheelchair, said good morning, then wheeled off on his own to complete 6-7 hours of rehabilitation that day. I smiled with joy, seeing his independence. His Colorado College roommate, Mike, just arrived. Bryce wheeled down to the train station (8 minute walk by path) to greet him to a howling, “Rafffferrttttyyyyy!” Much to share between those two and probably some tears. Mike will be visiting Bryce for a week.
Family
One of the wonderful miracles that have occurred through this event has been the reconciliation of communications among me, Meg, and Jennifer. We have all been working together well and talk by Skype almost daily. What a blessing that has been! Yes, there have been some trying moments, but the Holy Spirit has been at work helping us to forgive and move on for Bryce’s benefit. Keefe has been doing well finishing up his fall senior semester at Taft and working on college applications. He already completed his Blue & Gold interview and met with Senator Dodd’s nomination staff. He makes his second trip down to the Naval Academy this week to attend two crew practices, stay overnight, and attend classes. He is also interested in Trinity.
Decisions
The SPZ has been a wonderful place for Bryce’s surgeries, ICU recovery, and initial acute stage rehabilitation. Meg and I are going over on 11/23 for Thankgiving week and returning the 30th. On the way though Atlanta, Meg and I will visit The Shepherd Center, and in early December, I will fly to Denver to visit Craig Rehab; both are “Top Gun,” holistic SCI rehabilitation centers providing a broad range of intensive, family-centric therapies, including lots of athletic and outdoor activities. We will fly back to Switzerland for 2 weeks over Christmas/New Years as well. A Taft parent has donated free flight miles for family members for our trips over to Switzerland at Thanksgiving and Christmas, a delightful unexpected gift.
We anticipate having a meeting with SPZ staff on 11/25 in Switzerland to compare their plans over the next 4-6 months to the services offered by Shepherd and Craig and how each dovetails with insurance coverages and limitations. Bryce could possibly stay the full 9 month term at the SPZ or perhaps be flown back earlier, clinical health status permitting, within 30-60 days. Discussions are ongoing. We will lay out the strengths and weaknesses of the alternatives to Bryce and see what he wants to do. We hope to resolve a decision by the end of November. Some fights between the two insurers over which is the primary insurer and difference in approaches between the U.S. and Swiss centers are complicating the decisions.
News and How You Can Help
All past updates and new pictures are on the NTAF website along with an easily printable flyer (“Bryce Donation Flyer”). There are links to his Webpage and Facebook as well. For a quick visit, paste the following to your browser:
We invite you to pass this email on to your friends and family. We ask for your generosity this Thanksgiving/Christmas season. Bryce will need an enormous amount of financial help going forward. Even though we have not fully determined his exact annual needs and we expect some more physical capability through intensive rehabilitation over the next 6 months, there are sizable near term expenses uncovered by insurance such as a customized van and handicap-access improvements to his home. Our initial NTAF goal is $200,000 and we are a long way from there right now. The substantial majority of funds donated “on behalf of Bryce Rafferty” are available for reimbursement of his expenses not covered by insurance or government programs.
Next Steps
We continue to work on drafting a supplemental needs trust for Bryce for his long term custodial care needs. In 2010, we intend to approach a more targeted fundraising effort with the goal of establishing a long term portfolio for him. We are looking for an independent trustee, satisfactory to both parents, who could be the fiduciary for distributions. We are also open to anyone who is interested in leading fundraisers. All suggestions and/or volunteers are welcome.
New Development and Prayer Need!
Meg just entered Norwalk Hospital this evening for DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis). She has a large blood clot in her common femoral vein between her groin and her knee that began to emerge in recent days as she battled the Swine Flu. She will be undergoing non-invasive vascular surgery called catheter thrombolysis with a clot busting drug named TPA on Monday to help clear the clot more quickly. Certain complications can occur so we need some extra prayer for her over the next few days.
Please pray for:
1. Recovery of the rest of Bryce’s left arm and for his left shoulder pain and spasms to ameliorate.
2. Insurance company coverage to be clarified and agreed upon.
3. Wisdom and discernment over where Bryce should be for completing rehabilitation.
4. Continued good relations among families as we finalize long term trust documentation.
5. That Keefer would be accepted by his new love, The Naval Academy.
6. The above mentioned operation and recovery for Meg.
7. Job opportunities for John.
Thank you for all your support and prayers. WE REALLY FEEL THEM AND THEY ARE WORKING.
John
John Rafferty
203-606-6354
johnrafferty@yahoo.com
