Dad's Update XIX - 8/24/10
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)
It has been a challenging time since my last update. We approach the one year anniversary of Bryce’s accident in Switzerland on August 30th. We have been emotionally distraught, carried lots of stress, debated on multiple levels, and experienced outright depression, but sense a strengthening. As we slowly gain our lives back, we have had to die to self and call out for the Lord's help…….
Bryce Update:
Bryce struggled with the challenge of settling in at home in June and July after a busy May with lots of activity and visitors. He had to deal with a myriad of emotions, doubts, fears, and the transitional phases of his paralysis. Bryce also had frequent physical struggles with autonomic dysreflexia. Initially we couldn’t figure out. The solution (which our friends at the SPZ in Switzerland warned us to always do) was a final specific position check once in the wheelchair. Somehow we all forgot! Since figuring this out, Bryce has felt much stronger and his travel ability is increasing.
Bryce has attended physical therapy 3 days/week and other activities (fundraisers in NYC & Brookfield, sailing in Newport, driving with Dad, visits to Grandmas). His Mom, Jennifer, did a super job taking care of him at her home, supported by wonderful home health aides provided through Medicaid. He adjusted well, strengthened his arms, and weathered emotional storms, learning a lot more about himself and life in the process. Bryce also completed a tough summer school graduate course on Latin American politics, writing multiple papers through dictation, and receiving A grades in the process. Incredible! He really enjoyed it, can’t stop talking politics, and is looking forward to returning to school. While his fingers have not come back, both arms have strengthened nicely, he can eat fairly independently, and he can work his laptop. Early this summer, wheeling the manual chair slightly uphill to the end of the driveway was a dream, but a week ago, he did it all by himself. This past weekend he received new power assist wheels for his manual chair that increase his mobility and will help him strengthen his arms further. He leaves home with a toe infection and a toenail removed, but antibiotics should clear him up this week.
Back to Colorado College!
Two weekends ago, we packed a POD container and sent it off to Colorado Springs. It arrives tomorrow, Bryce flies back to Colorado Collge with his Mom this Thursday, then I fly out for a month on the 29th to be backup support after his Mom leaves on the 30th. I will have an apartment at Colorado College and will be working out of a local Bank of America Merrill Lynch office during the week in downtown Colorado Springs. I look forward to catching up with all my new friends in Colorado while out there. Meg will hopefully be able to fly out to be with me if her INR blood levels are approved by her docter. She is doing well and the remaining blood clot in her left thigh has decreased by 50%. Even her vascular surgeon seemed surprised! We attribute this progress to the many prayers of the prayer chain.
Other:
Keefe worked as an administrator at Middlebury College’s language program in July and spent much of August with Meg and me in New Canaan training single sculls under a Russian coach in Greenwich. Keefe and I also camped in the Whites and climbed Mt. Washington's Huntington Ravine, finishing in terror from a sudden rainstorm, but surviving, thank God. Like his brother did last year, Keefe trashed me in “King of the Raft” at morning dip on a local lake; Dad’s glory days are over! In September, Keefe attends The Kent School as a U.S. Naval Academy Foundation sponsored postgraduate and will participate in the basketball and crew programs prior to Plebe summer in 2011. Kent’s crew team was national champion last year.
Thank you for all your support and prayers. If you have received this email indirectly, please contact me and I can add you to our direct list. I am amazed at how little time I have now that I'm working again and am especially grateful to be employed in this economy. I enjoy the people I work with in the Enterprise Credit Risk Group at Bank of America Merrill Lynch and am focused on identifying emerging portfolio risks in EMEA and reviewing credit underwriting and risk assessment in various global specialized industries. The first test of my new job's flexibility occurs in September while I am in Colorado. Please feel free to call or e-mail me anytime at the contact information below.
A few recent pictures are attached.
Blessings to you in Christ,
John (Dad)
John P. Rafferty
203.606.6354
johnrafferty@yahoo.com
For further reflection…….
In April, Joni Earekson Tada lovingly autographed and sent Bryce her book, When God Weeps. It’s another great book on suffering in addition to her great book on the same topic, A Step Further. For those of you out there who may be suffering, some of the following passages may offer encouragement and hope, as they did in my heart.
The Cross p.136
A miraculous exchange happens at the cross. When suffering forces us to our knees at the foot of Cavalry, we die to self. We cannot kneel there for long without releasing our pride and anger, unclasping our dreams and desires - this is what "coming to the cross" is all about. In exchange, God imparts power and implants new and lasting hope. We rise, renewed. His yoke becomes easy; his burden light. But just when we begin to become a tad self-sufficient, suffering presses harder. And so, we seek the cross again, mortifying the martyr in us, destroying the self-display. The transaction is then able to continue. God reveals more of his love, more of his power and peace as we hold fast the cross of suffering.
Anger p.152
Anger has a dark side too. It has incredible potential to destroy. It digresses into a black energy that demands immediate release and relief. It despises being vulnerable and helpless. It relishes staying in control. It loathes dependence on God and so gains macabre pleasure in spreading the poison of mistrust. Ironically, this sort of anger - unrighteous anger - turns on us. It is a liar, offering us satisfaction, when in truth it guts us and leaves us empty......Unrighteous anger - anger that leads us away from God - sucks the last vestige of hope from our hearts. We stop caring, stop feeling. We commit a silent suicide of the soul, and sullen despair moves in like a terrible dead fog, deadening our hearts to the hope that we will ever be rescued, redeemed, and happy again.
Hope p.154
Suddenly I realized, I am feeling something. Like a hibernating animal walking up, I felt something stir. No more emotional numbness. Instead, a magnetic pull toward hope. In the darkness, I found myself saying out loud, "God, if I can't die, please show me how to live." It was short, to the point, but it left the door open for Him to respond. Little did I realize that He would: "the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit." Psalm 34:18.
